Fortune Cookies |
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So I decided to just call ’em “Fortune Cookies,” and be done with it. Anyway, whatever they’re called, here are ten of ’em, randomly chosen just for you…
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"The efficiency of our criminal jury system is only marred by the difficulty of finding twelve men every day who don't know anything and can't read."
— Mark Twain
"Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else." |
"The best way to convince a fool he is wrong is to let him have his way." |
I bought my brother some gift-wrap for Christmas. I took it to the Gift Wrap department and told them to wrap it, but in a different print so he would know when to stop unwrapping. -- Stephen Wright |
"I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio." |
"To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know because I've done it a thousand times." |
"Nothing is more humiliating than to see idiots succeed in enterprises we have failed in." |
"If an animal does something, we call it instinct; if we do the same thing for the same reason, we call it intelligence." |
"The art of taxation consists in so plucking the goose as to obtain the largest amount of feathers with the least possible amount of hissing." |
"Most people spend their lives going to bed when they're not sleepy and getting up when they are." |